Best Yelp Review: Citizen

Citizen Bar

364 W Erie St., Chicago, IL 60654

Reviewed by Matt D.

Well looks like nobody likes this place.  I went there for Sunday brunch.  I was fucking hammered so I really have no right to review what I can’t remember, but who gives a shit, I’m bored.  

A group of five of us sat outside on a beautiful Sunday.  I like the ghost town feel of being in the business district on a Sunday.  The deck wasn’t that packed and they sat us away from other people, which was smart considering what a spectacle I was making of myself.  Unlimited mimosa’s were included and our group was pounding them.  I don’t think they’re supposed to give you pitchers, but I was yelling “more mimosa’s Obama”, every couple minutes so she made an exception.  Our waitress was wearing an Obama shirt, that’s how my witty ass came up with her moniker.  

Conversation was going great until I decided to announce that my friend had a giant clit. (Which is weird because it’s a completely normal sized clit, I don’t know why I’d say that.)  That comment must’ve drawn a “TMI” from someone.  I’ve been told I had a ham and cheese sandwich.  I think a friend had a bite of it and said it was good.  So there’s your three stars right there.